Out of Focus

While I was at BlogHer in The City (aka San Francisco), I joined the Photo Walk organized by The Shutter Sisters. I was still a little overwhelmed from the morning's session on Beautiful Blogging and I was starting to get a little tired from trekking back and forth to my sisters apartment looking for my phone. Although I made it in time to grab a lunch, the obsessively efficient banquet staff at the St. Francis had already pulled the sodas. I started to feel pretty woozy and was actually planning to pass out before Rod, the very attentive Banquet Captain ran to get me a couple of Sprites. I guzzled one down, which is usually all I need to stop the ground from moving. He sat with me and made sure that I was okay. I had to get to the lobby for the Photo Walk but was still a little light-headed so he walked me to the elevator. I still had a bag filled with swag and lenses, so I quickly dropped it off with the bellman, took my ticket, and then ran out the front of the hotel searching for my group. Luckily, it's not hard to spot a large group of women with big mama honker cameras around their necks. I ran across the street to start snapping along with them.

And that's when I realized my mistake.

I had completely forgotten to switch to my 28-135 and still had the 70-300. I had to rethink what it was that I wanted to capture (pun intended) in that walk. While I would normally have taken shots of the obvious elements right in front of me, I had to actually do some work to find interesting shots far away. I took pictures of bits and pieces of architecture. I got a shot of a gentleman taking one step at a time without burdening him with my presence. I found crazy little creatures in all kinds of nooks and crannies. I was a little bummed, though, that I would not get to take pictures of the pretty little flowers in a garden that we had come across.

But then I was saved!

At the top of the hill and to the left, we came upon Grace Cathedral. I found some lovely flowers in the planters surrounding the steps up to the church. I did my best to take shots of them with the camera in my hands. Unfortunately, the further back I stepped in order to get the flowers into focus, the further down I got on the steps. I was starting to get frustrated but then thought better of having a tantrum in front of my Shutter Sister heroes. I decided to put the camera on the planter and pull it back to where I thought my intended foliage might come into focus. The results were surprisingly pleasant.

I hope you'll agree... or not... whatever... I don't care... I like 'em!















See... way too close up...


More Pictures over at my Flickr photostream.

Still foggy in here...

It's been a week since Day One at BlogHer and I am finally back into reality mode. Not an easy thing, let me tell you.

I'm feeling a lot of feelings right now. And since all of my therapy money went to my trip to San Francisco for BlogHer, I'm just laying it all here. You lucky reader, you...

I really wish I would have stayed at the St. Francis. Not because it's such a beautiful hotel or because I wanted to be able to just walk downstairs to the sessions. I wish I wouldn't have spent nearly as much time with my sister as I had... and it was pretty limited time. It was awkward. I realize now that I just can't be around her. It hurts too much. I'm upset that she's the only other kid that lived through life with me and doesn't have any desire to talk about it without being hurtful and sarcastic. I'm also upset with her for her snarky jabs and then getting all exasperated like I'm the one that did something wrong when I finally had to jab her back. Sorry, but stupid questions and being talked down to kinda do that to me! I had to summon all of my decency in order to just give her one of those two-pat-man-hugs at the airport. I couldn't walk away fast enough. Well, I was late for my flight, so I had to walk fast... but you get what I mean, don't you?

While I was up there, my kids were all here. All of them. Even the one that doesn't talk to me. I invited her, but I have a feeling, that was all being planned before my gracious invitation. I'm still trying to get all the stories straight about how my hand-blown glass humingbird feeder met its demise or why my furniture looks like it's sitting on a slant. I also reached for a mug only to find it missing. I already said what I needed to say. I think my words were heard. I'm not sure how they were processed on the other end, but that's not my deal. What happened was that I let them all know that I was disappointed. The reactions were that they didn't think I should be upset. Apparently, the mere fact that they were helping me out means that anything that was broken or missing or misspoken would be forgiven.

Ummm... no.

If I'm watching your cat and it dies because it jumped out a three story window because I let him play there and then I said Ooops, sorry, but don't be mad, cause I was watching your cat for you... is that okay? No. Or how is it that you can wash all of YOUR mugs without breaking them, but come over to my house and all of the sudden you have some crazy, mysterious hand problem that prevents you from holding MY mug without letting it drop? Huh, Mom? Or if you are going to partake in my home and all the amenities, have the decency to respond to an email that asks if you had a nice time and that I hope you were comfortable here... even though you won't visit when I AM here.

I'm also still heaving out the last of the fog trapped in my lungs. I get this weird temporary asthma whenever I breathe in moist air, which is usually daily living so close to the coast. That was part of the reason I moved further inland when the pilot and I sold our house and separated. I need dry, people! DRY! I'm thinking I'm going to take a trip out to the Grand Canyon. It's so beautiful there... so big... so amazing... we went there for lunch last year. Yep. Just for lunch. The life of a pilot's wife is kinda weird like that.

Am I still a pilot's wife? hmmm...

We are "celebrating" our Eight Year Anniversary next week. He'll be in Texas on the actual day. That's another thing I've become accustomed to. Before you feel sorry for me, I have to say that I understand that it's only a date. Some random numbers on a calendar. I'd much rather have our lives be sane and joyful than to celebrate artificially on a specific date. Does that make sense? So, I'm picking him up from the airport two days later. We're going to dinner from there. Downtown San Diego is always a lot of fun, so it should be nice. I'm really looking forward to some time alone with him. But from there, what? We've been talking about moving back in together, but I think we're both a little scared. I know I am. This Texas thing is nice. He's been away for ten days. I've had some fun in The City. But now, we go back to real life.

And it's all still just a little foggy to me...

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Coming Out of the Fog: BlogHer 2008, San Francisco

There is so much to tell I can hardly get my brain around it all. But here goes anyway...

I have tons of notes about syndication and search engine optimization, as well as great video blogging recommendations made by Amber of Capessa and Cathy from seesmic. Plus I got some invaluable tips on tags from a girl named Esther whose My Space page tracking her weight loss was so popular that she was hired by Weight Watchers as some sort of internet guru!

The parties were fantastic! The newbie party on Thursday night was great getting to meet other first time attendees. I guess we accounted for something like 56% of the group. I got to meet Mocha Momma and yes, I did make an ass out of myself by pointing and running over all the while repeating oh-my-God-that's-Mocha-Momma! The whole time I was hopping over to her, her eyes were getting wider and wider going "oh crap, who is this and how can I hide?" (Way to be cool, Shoog... way to be cool...) I told her I was Sugar and she remembered my posts on her site. She seemed relieved that I wasn't some crazy stalker freak... or maybe she still thought I was, but either way, she graciously invited me over to her table where I met the funniest prego at all of BlogHer, Mel the Stay at Aum Mom. I also met Bossy and Average Jane that night. It was pretty surreal, I must say. You might have heard that the People's Party was fun, but really really loud. It WAS! There was a funny little bucket for your extra drink tickets. I say funny because it just sat there all night, kind of empty. Not many people giving up the drink tickets... haha!

But my favorite was definitely Friday night at Ruby Skye, hosted by TNT, more specifically for The Closer and Saving Grace. FYI: TNT gives great swag. I was greeted at that party with a rousing SHOOOGGAAAHHH by Kristy Sammis, the kick-assiest Event Manager in all creation. If you ever meet her, ask her about her pants. The atmosphere inside was hoppin' swanky, but not so much that you wouldn't over hear the best line of the night: "Oklahoma's the new black, Bitch!" (Would the funniest blogger in OK please get in touch with me?!)

It was a good night to laugh after the heaviness of that afternoon.

The first ever Community Keynote on Friday before the party was a group of twenty bloggers whose posts were voted on to be read on stage by their authors. Two of the ladies really hit close to home for me. One would do anything to avoid being anything like her mother, even at the risk of her own sanity. The other who had such severe depression during her pregnancy that... well, you can read her story yourself . Another lovely woman wrote a letter to her face that was so poignant. Very touching. All of these stories made me cry, but also made my heart soar to see and hear the beauty of the human spirit.(searching links... check back soon...)

Saturday was a continuation of great information and education, kicked off by a great roundtable hosted by MSN about SEO. Each of us left with a new handy dandy web cam! Thanks Ani the Excel Diva and Sarah (a kick butt coder for Findable Blogs) for all that great info! But I think the highlight that morning was definitely the Kumbaya room, otherwise known as the Beutiful Blogging session hosted by Kyran Pittman. Let me just say that I did NOT want to leave that room! I was amazed at the awesome things women were doing to propogate goodness in the world through this medium. Many of their ideas that started in the blogoshpere have manifested into the physical world affecting positive change in such great ways. I seriously felt like I had gone to church. I could NOT stop crying... Check these people out, please: Square Girl with Hope Revolution, Lucrecer with Art Slam, Alysa with Just Cause It, and Jen at One Plus Two. Plus another woman who was in the room in spirit, Jen Lemen. I was lucky enough to meet her later that afternoon while she was doing some video for PBS. By the way... Thanks PBS for my kids stack o'swag. They love their stuff!

I took some time to decompress and missed a session to walk around and go inside my head for a while. I got back to the hotel in time for my massage at the spa suite. Then it was off to the Shutter Sisters Photo Walk. In all the hussle and bussle, I forgot to change lenses. So where I would normally be using my macro lens, I was forced to look further away for interesting images with my 200mm. I think this is why I didn't even realize that the lady I was taking shoe pictures with was aka Little Purple Cow, one of my original photo blogging heroes. So, seriously, Stephanie... do those shoes make me look fat? haha... Only one thing I would add to that experience would be an "after party." As if we needed any more parties, right? But it would have been nice to talk longer with Tracy Clark, Karen from Chookooloonks and a cool chick named Nelly from New York. Did anyone else want to call her Nelly Furtado??

I was technically on my own this trip, but not alone. Anytime I wanted, I could look up and find another thirty something lady with a nose piercing and big spectactles carrying a camera and just strike up a conversation. I could look across just about any room I was in and find a familiar face from one of our awesome sessions. No, I was definitely NOT alone. Saturday night's party at Macy's was a blast, but under all the fun (along withe scaring Julio and talking Armen's ear off) I was already feeling a bit wistful knowing that I would be leaving the next day. I didn't want to leave that vibe. I wanted to hold on to the euphoria of finding common ground, I suppose. Not like I totally bonded with 999 other women, but you get what I mean don't you? Anyway, it was sad waking up Sunday morning knowing that I didn't have any reason to go back to the hotel. It was all over. I laid on my sister's couch and teared up wondering where I was going to ever really feel that sense of belonging again? And then I thought...

Duh, Sugar... in the blogs!

+++

There is so much more, like meeting Rocco DiSpirito... sort of... I'm sure the memories will come back in fits and bursts as all the alcohol and pasta leave my system and as I unpack all the swag and free t-shirts. I will say definitely go if you can next year. It's well worth every last penny. And if the Reach tour goes anywhere near you, and I mean even a neighboring state, I'd highly recommend sucking up the gas prices and heading on over to it. I doubt you will in any way be let down.

Thanks again BlogHer for such an eventful event and such memorable memories!

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Oh, and if you are wondering, I did NOT make an ass out of myself by getting carted away from Dooce's suite. A) she wasn't staying at the hotel, and B) I got a picture with her instead:

And you know what I love about blogging?

If you are reading this, I am on a plane with a cocktail in hand.

I feel like I don't even want to know what next week has in store for me... like when nobody was really planning to come back to work after New Year's 2000. This time, though, my life may really be completely altered (or not). (This is where my mom would start splashing holy water on me and I'd have to remind her that by something, I meant something positive.) I'm trying not to have these great expectations, but how can I not??? What with Discovery Channel throwing the Experience Project Party (thanks Kate and Julio!), and then the BlogHer Newbie Party being only one floor up from the People's Party so I'm only an elevator ride away, you can hardly help but dream about the hangover and lost voice that will arrive Friday morning. Oh gosh, did I forget the CheeseburgHer party that Suburban Turmoil and Alpha Mom are throwing? Um, no I didn't! HOLLER! Then of course the actual convention (oh yeah...)with all the break-outs about turning your blog into a book, content syndication, monetizing... all that jazz. Let's not forget the opportunity to hear my heroes speak or sign their books for me or the necklace that signifies snapping solidarity. Or the Photo Walk!

Holy Crap Batman!

But before all of the parties were planned, I fell in deep like with all the people I've met through the BlogoSphere. I am always talking about them as if they are my coffee house buddies or my neighbors. I feel like my day isn't complete without checking in with D'Arcy or HappyWife. And the deeply touching ruminations of a couple of boys from Madison... wow. (True story... I wanted to go to UWMadison because I had once visited there and remembered how nice and how cute the boys were. Gus... Robb... what might have been... hahaha.) Plus of course my touchstones, Daily Goddess and Rowena, the Warrior Girl. I have been privy to some amazing insights into their hearts.

But the thing that I love most about blogging?

I just did it. Did you see? I started a sentence with "but." I could also start one with "and" if I wanted to. And (haha) I could just avoid commas altogether. I could also leave a sentence hanging out there all alone. Not a statement... it could just end in a question mark. Or (haha again) I can use elipses... all... I ... want ... a'la Joyce Carol Oates... but without all the fame... hmmm... let me do that again...

That feels GOOD!

Why? Because I majored in English. These little personal "statements" are me being all crazy rebellious. In another time, it would likely have sent my high school English UA teachers into a tizzy. They are top of mind right now because my TWENTY year reunion (holy sh!+) is next month. Plus, it's just so hard to forget them. They were SO. AMAZINGLY. UPTIGHT. Mr. Reese used to require that we use blue, black, or blue/black ink. When that quirk was noted in the yearbook, he was really not amused. Strange, but I don't recall what he looked like with a smile on his face, either. And Ms. Oh-What-Was-Her-Name... well, we'll call her Miss Betsy Fussypants. Goes with the hair. She had this annoying habit of perching on one foot and cracking the other ankle over and over and over... She used to confuse the shit out of me when it came to commas. They would be so red-lining my work with all the broken grammatical rules. But breaking the rules is what it's all about sometimes...

God, I love blogging...

~

That's it for me until next week. I'll be keeping in touch through the tweets. They are likely to be the random babblings of a Good Time Girl named Sugar drunk with martinis who is being carted away by security from Dooce's suite, I'm sure... If you want to experience it all, you can follow me on Twitter. If you have better things to do than following me (like changing the toilet paper roll) we'll catch up next week. I plan to have many stories and accompanying photos.

And maybe that tattoo...

Ciao!

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Geeks and Autographs

So, I've heard back from some of my heroes who can't wait to meet me at BlogHer!

Okay... well, maybe they didn't say THAT so much as they were just kind to a stalker/fan... something like Oh Hope To See You At BlogHer! They don't know that I have a Sharpie all ready to have their names immortalized in a journal. I'll have them all sign all around the journal so that with some random turn of the page, I'll see the name of someone that inspires me to get my butt in the chair and put my hands on the keyboard.

Now, I grew up on the outskirts of LA. We would randomly run into celebrities at Disneyland, clubs on Sunset, restaurants... it was an unspoken thing that you kept your cool and never got all freakie-fan-like and asked for autographs. So, I have to say, I'm going against all my better judgment. I'm picturing these people thinking I'm some cute little girl from the sticks. I want to whisper to them as they are signing, "You know... I'm really a cool chick disguised as a geek." But who am I kidding. I'm really a geek in disguise.

But the disguise is coming off...

I was trying to explain the BlogHer conference to some friends. They all had that smile like "Is she serious? When do we get to the part where she says, just kidding, I'm really going to a (insert cooler event here)." The friends that really know me know that I am not an average kind of gal. They call me "creative" because it's nicer than saying "crazy" I think. I don't think, though, that too many of them really knew the depths of my geekiness. Well, at least not until recently. They know I'm technically savvy, at least to them I am. I frequently have to explain to them (more than once) the step-by-step process of leaving a comment. They call me up sometimes almost in tears. "I tried to comment but I don't know... I don't see it! What did I do wrong!" Seriously? How hard can it be? I think it's kind of funny. It's going to be absolutely fantastic to walk the halls of the hotel and talk all geeky without having to explain.

I'm gonna be like, "Yeah, I am TOTALLY blogging this!"

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Geekin' Out!

I'm not a real geek, I only play one on TV.

Oh MY! Can I just say how extremely excited I am about going up to San Francisco for the BlogHer chick fest in July?! It's like I'm getting ready to go to camp or a spa getaway or an Eagles concert.

I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!

Over at Shutter Sisters where most of my heroes dwell, they've got a neat little event organizing. It's a Photo Walk in the afternoon. Here's the thing... if you've ever been to San Francisco, you know how crowded the sidewalks can get with all the natural foot traffic. Add in a good convention and you've just tripled the density. Imagine hundreds of blogger/photographer/hipster chicks on a stroll through the City. Oh boy. I think what I'm going to do is to find out the route and get ahead just to take pictures of all the hoopla.

There's also a little spiff going on through General Motors to get three to five BlogHers per car to carpool in their new hybrid. So now I am eagerly seeking two more like-minded blogger chicks to get in a car with for six to eight hours (depending on traffic and potty breaks) each way. Can I just say how excited I am just for that? WOW! Two other women like me that I have never met before. I can't wait to burn some CDs and chat about our latest reads or photo techniques or dreams. I am hyperventilating! Get me a paper bag!

My poor Sister and City Girl daughter. I have all but set up my sleeping bag on the kitchen floor. They know I'm coming. I think they are just going to pretend they got the dates wrong and not answer the intercom buzz. (((Open. Open. Open.))) Actually, I hope they come with me. I think they'd have a blast. (Did you hear that guys?)

I know it's only going to be a couple of days and I know I probably won't be able to make it to all of my desired classes as they fill up. I know it's going to put me in a pinch at the end of the month, but this is important to me. And I need to do what I want to do for the good of my heart and psyche. And anyway, if I could just get Dooce's autograph, I would float all the way home. No hybrid needed here!

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