Self Portrait 12/08

I almost missed this month… with all the craziness… I almost let it go because I didn’t feel like I looked my best. I’m tired and a bit puffy from all the celebrating. But then I thought about the reason I am doing this exercise. It’s not about looking like a model. It’s about capturing my image… before the moment is gone.

I did something a little crazy this time. I didn’t do hair or makeup. I’m kind of regretting it but still mildly excited about my own personal growth. You have no idea… anyway… here I am:

 

Your turn: Leave a link to your latest picture. Don’t have one? Quick! Take one! Before the moment is gone…

The Three Faces of Shoog

In honor of my monthly self-portraits (and unwavering narcissism), I thought I'd take myself in three different angles, literally and figuratively. Like you, I wear different faces at different times in my life. It's not that I'm trying to be different Sugar's to different people... not anymore, anyway... It's just that different environments or groups of friends tend to coax one part or another out of me. I enjoy having all those facets to myself... even if every now and then it gets a little crowded in here.

Please ignore the fluffiness of a month's worth of cookie dough and merlot indulgence...

Quiet Time and The Header

Yesterday's lunch meeting went well. I didn't puke. Aces! Better than that, though, was the lightness I felt as I walked in and saw familiar faces smiling and working to help each other succeed. Always so great to be in that kind of positive environment. But it was only momentary. I still felt somewhat anxious, physically. Like a low buzz that I couldn't shake. I realized later that I had been "too busy" to go out for my run that morning. The crunch of soft trails under my feet and the moments of silence tend to set my days aright. That time gets me straight in the head, giving me the strength and clarity to make it through each day.

And right now, I can't afford to be without strength or clarity.

I wonder if we all had that quiet time in the morning to get our heads straight... I wonder how life might improve not just for ourselves, but overall. The constant busy-ness looks productive, but what do we miss? What kind of lopsided relationship to busy-ness do we have? The busier, the better is what the world says, right? I know it's not true, but I still fall into the trap. So when I took that morning quiet time away from myself, my Spirit was robbed. I was off all morning. It wasn't until I was amidst friends in the afternoon that I finally felt like Sugar again. But that was almost the end of the day. A whole day!

I wonder what else I missed because of my busy-ness?

So, the header. Do you see it? The two sides of one girl? Identical in heart but outwardly different. It's a take on the drawing of the hand drawing a hand. But in this drawing, it's not about checking out each little fold in the knuckle. It's more analyzing the essence of the person. Taking a step back and looking at Self in the Third to understand why this little girl does what she does.

Do you see what they are doing? Each is completing the drawing of the other. The two sides becoming whole. When I saw the picture, I remember saying out loud, "YES! That's it!" Perfect for this little blog about living for real, not just in theory. About understanding what we do that takes away from who we are... and what we do to make the picture whole.

Now I'm off to run the trails and breathe deeply. I don't want to miss anything today.

...

Today's post was brought to you by the letter "B" for balance.

...

Mirror Images

I shot this self portrait as the afternoon sun was peeking in to my office. The ornate mirror that used to hang in the sitting room of my former home rests on the floor waiting to be hung. I sat cross-legged in front of it and started experimenting with angles, shadows, streams of light, etc. Fun stuff...

So, if you ever visit my "Cool People" section, you'll meet Little Purple Cow, author and photographer of Cool People I Know. She has challenged herself to do a daily self portrait. I shuddered at the thought. Me on the other side of the lens? I was nervous about capturing my image only because some days, my situation feels so raw. Then I thought about the things others would think... that I'm so self absorbed or boy does she look old... then I thought... F*em.

I'm not sure I can hold to the daily self portrait, but I think I'd like to track my restoration on a monthly basis. This is 03.01.08. I obviously ruminated over this decision for a while. Maybe the April issue will come out on time. That is, if I give myself permission not to care what you think.