Living Simply

Sometimes, I wake up and wonder... where the hell am I?

I still find myself waking up confused about the home I am in. Why is my room so much smaller? Why are the kids sharing that walk-in closet of a room? Where did my custom kitchen with double ovens and bay windows go? Where is my big ol' quiet yard and why am I not at the end of a quiet cul de sac anymore?

And then I remember that we sold that house and moved.

It was a move that needed to happen. Our priorities had been out of whack, but we woke up. Living simply has been so rewarding in so many ways. But boy has this move come with quite a bit of adjustment. We lost about 1,000 square feet and along with that, a ton of storage. In order to move down, we first had to get rid of all of our large furniture before even moving over here. I found myself holding back tears and repeating "It's just stuff" over and over. *sigh* Even after purging a bedroom set, an antique chaise, a washer and dryer, and other sundry items, we still came here with too much. Our wrap-around sectional that floated in our old bonus room was grossly oversized for our new digs. Our farm house style dining table came along with us, but takes up all the designated space making things kind of tight with the hutch. I'm still working on that one. I repurposed our garage and made it a toy and game area. It's not that spacious family room, but it works.

Today, I came across this Better Homes article today. I can't do half of these because I'm renting. But there are still many things I can do without risking my deposit. For instance, letting the light in all over the place gives the impression that the space is larger. We don't have too many dark spots in the townhome, which is amazing considering our attached neighbors on both sides. Aces! Another tip is to extend living quarters to the outdoors. Check! I have a small sitting area out on my patio that I enjoy every morning as the sun comes up over the hills. It's not my big back yard, but with all my plants and trees surrounding me, my little space is quite pleasant.

I still dream of our house. I still wish the kids had a big yard and could ride safely in a quiet cul de sac. But the reality of my simpler life is just as nice as a canyon view. Being home with the kids and building my photo business would be impossible if I was a slave to a mortgage. I'm happy to have pared down our life... even at the cost of all that space and storage. No matter how much I complain.

It's totally worth it.

...

If you have any examples of how you have turned your limited space into cute and cozy quarters, please leave a link in the comments. I could use some new ideas and inspiration!

Small

Small (adverb): softly; in a low voice; without strength or force; weakly; into little pieces

Sometimes, I feel small and scared. Like I'm vulnerable to any harm that might come my way. I become insecure in my insignificance. As though I have no protection against the world. I think of my babies... the moment I first held them... knowing that it was my responsibility to take care of them and keep them from harm. It was an awesome responsibility. One that I wasn't always successful at. One that, in my brokenness and anger, I screwed up more than I care to admit.

And I wonder if I deserve to feel anything but small...

Sometimes when I sit on the beach, I'm aware of my insignificant role in the world. I'm dwarfed by the horizon layed out in front of me, so vast that my vision bends at the corners. On the edge of the world, I am still very aware that I am loved. And I try so hard not to project my human frailties and mistakes on the God of the Universe. Instead, I try to let the horizon comfort me. The waves always sound like the hearty laughter of a proud father. The sun always feels like a tender kiss on my forehead. In that place, where I am so small, I feel so wonderfully significant.

I feel like a precious daughter.

I don't know that I've ever been so concerned about the world in my entire life. I don't know that I've ever felt this vulnerable before. I don't know that I have ever been at a place where I can't choose a leader. When I didn't know that everything would be okay. And as scary as that is to me, I realize that I should never put so much trust in one fallible man. There is more... and we are more... and life is more... and God is so big...

And I am small... and vulnerable... and still precious.

.