A Dysfunctional Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a Sweet Little Girl who lived in a foreign land, trapped in a castle that was not hers. No matter how much she smiled or laughed, the King and Queen of that horrid land were rarely amused. They declared her a nuisance. How were they to be bothered with her needs with so many more pressing, more important issues to deal with. They had a daughter cursed to die and another cursed to cry about the people in infomercials about acne. "Go away!" they would say. The Sweet Little Girl learned early to keep to herself and especially...

not to bother anyone.

She spent time visiting with the Fairy Godmother that sometimes lived at the castle, depending on the state of her marriage. Some days, the Sweet Little Girl could find comfort in sitting with the Fairy Godmother, listening to her stories and learning her old ways. But other times, the Fairy Godmother's blood sugar would be too low and she'd zap her with the wand or emit nasty criticism and other harsh shreaking-eel type noises. This scared the Little Girl very much... almost as much as carnies... but not quite as much as circus clowns.

So she made up an invisible life all her own.

She made up stories. And people. And all kinds of grand adventures. She began talking to herself in the mirror, describing these wonderful tales. This odd behavior did not amuse the King and Queen. AT. ALL. So as not to be embarrassed, they locked her in the tower. But she was good with a paper clip and locks and soon escaped. Once she jumped to the ground (single level tower), she ran as fast as her Sweet Little Legs could take her. Unfortunately, during her escape through the Wicked Forest, she ran into lots of Lions and Tigers and Bears. No carnies, though, thank goodness. Escaping from the wicked animals of the Wicked Forest was pretty tricky, and sometimes, she got scars when she tripped and fell. Some of those scars were ugly... and deep... and embarrassing.

After what seemed like a lifetime (but really only the first few chapters), she came upon much nicer digs.

She found the New Land of the Wise and Caring King. She knew that he was the Real King (not the phony baloney ones that locked her in the tower). She longed to petition this benevolent Lord to rid her of the deep scars that she had been hiding. The ones that wouldn't go away. Even the really embarrassing ones. But she feared bothering Him with her insignificant needs. After all, He had more important things to do. Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Solve our Universal Health Care issues...

Why would He want to help her?

Still, she wondered, "Could it be true what they say? Could He really take on my hurts and heal my scars??" She decided to step out in Faith. She asked if He could make the scars magically go away if she just volunteered enough. He said, "No, not a good idea." That wasn't at all the answer the Sweet Little Girl wanted to hear. He told her that she was forgiven. (Whew!) Next, she had to forgive others, after which she naturally replied, "You know... I kinda like these scars." But after a while, she thought, well that was stupid! So she began to forgive. The King and Queen that didn't know any better. The tempermental Fairy Godmother that didn't always take her meds. The Lions and Tigers and Bears.

And eventually, Herself.

And soon... the scars started to fade. Not completely. But you can barely see them anymore. Better than that, she began to live! She felt happier than she had ever felt before! She knew it wasn't always going to be a cake walk. But she also knew that whatever it was, she and the King could handle it... one hand tied behind her back, even!

The End. Oops! I mean...

The Beginning.

...

New Beliefs

Part of healing and recovery is replacing old Belief Systems (BS) with new empowering beliefs. Easier said than done. Definitely nothing that comes overnight. But it is possible, and so I move ahead.

This morning was spent in the presence of a group of wonderful women, all in a room to promote their own businesses and to partner with each other for the good of everyone. We chatted over coffee and learned about our past month and goals for the coming month. That was Part I of our meeting.

Part 2 was very special. Our speaker was Claudia Jean, self proclaimed Queen of Self-Esteem! She began by talking about aging and how the alternative is "you not being here to share and to bless others." That quieted me quickly. If I don't want to age, then I have to give up my place here... and all the fun that comes along with it. Simple truth... yes. But how often do we look in the mirror and sigh unhappily about the state of gravity on our parts? She asked us to pretend we were ourselves in the future, take a look back at our image today and then say (from the future), "Damn! You looked good back then!" 'Cause back then... that's what's happening right now. She also said something very simple yet true: "The fact that I showed up means that I am good enough!" But she admitted, just knowing you are good enough doesn't mean that you will feel it, too. We talked a little more about loading back up with good and positive beliefs.

Enter MY guest this morning, Lorretta Shughrue. Lorretta is a hypnotherapist who, aside from having her own therapy practice, offers over-night rejuvination CDs that unlock the yuck that we say to ourselves throughout the day, sends it on it's way, and refills our subconscious with positive affirmations. She gave us a sampling by ending our meeting with an affirming breathing exercise reminding us that we are wonderful, beautiful creatures. The word I took away from that exercise was "magnificent." Later that morning, I thought, "this must be how a princess feels!" Wonderful. Beautiful. Magnificent.

In emptying out the old BS, I am actively replacing new thoughts. I used to feel like How much worse can it get? Now I feel as if I am on a platform ready to jump off and soar into the sky. All my fears are still there, but they are diminishing and I am getting stronger. This life... this new life of my own making... it's going to be...

MAGNIFICENT!



Claudia Jean's site is currently under construction. She is, however, available by phone at 760/692-0439. She speaks to women's groups from the teen years to those celebrating their seventies and above. In her talks, she will share the three parts of Self Esteem and how to be kinder to the woman in the mirror.

Lorretta Shughrue, DCH has earned a Doctoral Degree in Clinical Hypnotherapy and a Master’s Degree in Counseling. She has a passion for empowering others to reach their personal goals and improve their quality of life. Her practice is Experience Empowerment and can be found at www.expemp.com