Perspective

This week's full moon threw me... as usual.

I prepare for full moons like the Wolfman. My given name (which apparently I chose) is another name for which Diana, Goddess of the Moon is called. When I was a kid, my friends and I picked Hippie Names. Mine was Moon. I didn't know then the truth in that. My soul has just always been drawn to the moon.

One of my monthly rituals is to watch the full moon rise. It's so big and comforting when it's low and glowing behind the silhouette of the world below. Then through the trees, it begins to shrink a bit. Once up high among the stars, it's all but reduced to a tiny light bulb in the darkness. I KNOW that it doesn't change. It's the same size the whole way through the sky. Smarter and more patient people than me have measured it. It's only our perspective of the moon against all of the physical things in life that we can relate to. Mountains. Houses. Trees. But in the expanse of the eternal heavens, that moon sure does look tiny.

That’s because we can’t measure “forever.”

My Sweet Sixteen-Year-Old once said that she loved me "all the way to the gas station." For her, walking to the gas station where our bus picked us up in the morning was FAR. She used to cry the whole way telling me she was dying and to please carry her. To her, it was like walking across the world. It was only one city block away. Not that far really. But when she said "I love you all the way to the gas station," she was telling me that she loved me a lot. I thought it was so sweet and smiled every time she said it. But if I wouldn't have understood how far she perceived the gas station to be, how might I have responded?

We measure things, good and bad, based on our perspective of, or rather our relationship to those things. For instance, what is your relationship with money? What did it mean to you growing up? For some, the same numbers, or amounts, may mean rich or poor... want versus need... better or worse. One person might think having it means power. For another, it might mean security. If someone makes you part with it, would they be challenging your power or depriving your family of security? If so, the exchange of that paper may come with some anger or resentment. If it's in exchange for more of the same (power or security), the feelings will likely be positive.

Time… what is your perception of that? For me, time is worth so much more than money. So when someone else doesn't honor my time the way I do, I get a little... I don't know... I wouldn't say mad, but I do feel off a bit. When I'm in a meeting with someone, I'm constantly monitoring the clock to make sure that our agenda stays on time and that we accomplish our goals in that meeting because I want to honor that time set aside. But when I have an afternoon of just hanging out planned, the clocks all disappear so that the time spent relaxing or playing with family or friends is truly enjoyed.

Time and Money are just two forms of energy that we exchange for other experiences. They aren't numbers really. They can only be measured that way because we humans like to attach the finite to the infinite. Just like we like to say how big the moon is behind the mountain and are amazed as it shrinks next to the stars. The problem with our perspective is...

we have no idea how large the stars are.

...

Charity

Charity is a long time friend of City Girl. She's always been involved in our kids programs at church as well as a frequent visitor during high school (with refrigerator rights) at our Old House at the end of the cul-de-sac, so the babies consider her family. With that...


Overheard in my office today:

Banana Girl: "Hello, this is Chichen Itza Pizza!"

The Boy: "What's their order?"

Banana Girl: "They want a medium salad with tomotoes, rice, and ranch dressing."

The Boy: "I'll cook it on the stove."

Banana Girl (back to the caller on hold): "That'll be four dollars and five cents."

The Boy (cooking the salad on the stove): "How much money do we get?"

Banana Girl: "We're giving the money to charity."

The Boy (pauses, looks around, confused): "Where's Charity?"

Banana Girl: "You're Fired."


...

Rich Single Moms?

A long time ago, I was taught not to cheer so loudly for myself. I was taught that it was bad to boast about my talents. Just saying that I had talents was difficult. Actually earning money from those talents seemed to me to be the ultimate transgression. That's why I really had a tough time getting used to the idea of working AND having fun AND making money. The queeziness of it all is still just under the surface... I am feeling anxious just writing about Fun, Work, and Money in the same sentence! Old Belief Systems (or rather, BS) are hard to break free from, but once you do, the abundance flows!

I just came across a great blog that explores that for single moms. The title cracked me up because it seems like a complete oxymoron: Ms. Catalyst is the author of Rich Single Momma. Check her out for some sage advice on abundance in what would otherwise be considered a scarcity-based lifestyle. Here's a sidebar description:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Now trust me when I say that I know in my head that this is true. But living it out has been my challenge. At least I thought it was until I reviewed what I have accomplished this year. I am out of an unhealthy relationship. I am living well on my own with my two youngest children, not starving and not working 70 hours a week. I am surrounded by friends who love me and appreciate me for who I AM. I earn real money doing what I love. All in all, I have designed a life of my own making in which I am free to be myself and to be right in the center of God's will for me.

How Awesome!

It's great to see other single moms living life and claiming themselves brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous! Way to go, Ms. Catalyst! I'll be checking in often!