Momentary Lapse of Reason

Well, that was close!

I heard that people experiencing grief from separation or divorce have those moments where they review the wooda-cooda-shoodas. That was my Sunday evening. I think the thing that triggered the doubt was my super fabulous morning. Stay with me here... See, I was having one of those days where I could just do no wrong. I even had a bit of a swagger going, which really rocked the skirt and sandals that I was wearing. Everywhere I strolled, I knew someone that was happy to see me or wave hi as they drove by. Not to mention my time up in front of an audience getting laughs and tears in all the right places. The sun was shining... the birds were singing...

I was ALL Sugar'd up!

Then I saw him. And I couldn't help but wonder why he couldn't see what others see. And then I remembered that I was worthy of more. But still... the fear and doubt and shame of what-else-could-I-have-done kept nagging at me.

So I blogged.

Thanks to my good blogging buddies and the smack across the face (picture CHer in Moonstruck - SNAP OUT OF IT!), I was reminded of my words. I think that's why I put myself out there. First to see if I can handle the comments. But another reason is that I can't un-say what I need to say. That is what public testimony is all about. And when you have good people keeping you accountable, whether that be to stay away from harmful things or people or just to stay on track towards your dreams, it makes life that much easier to navigate.

I'm definitely feeling me again. Thanks guys.

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WANTED: Someone Just Like Me

It would be just fantastic to talk about my life without having to explain myself or deal with those eye twitches and not so funny smirks from others. It would be so nice to have someone else understand my idiosyncrasies. SO here goes...

SSWBF (semi-single, whitish brown female) seeks friend who is just like her. Must be divorced AND separated. Former(ish) husbands should be adrenaline junkies with a need for speed (ie race car drivers and jet pilots). Said husbands should also care more about their hobbies than their women. Friend must be familiar with the codependent behavior that made her think that trying hard enough would have made things better. Must have at least four children ranging in ages from Preschool to College with at least one of the children completely self-excommunicated. Prefer a friend raised on own as her parents were too busy fully realizing themselves. Must love the Lord but cannot use any annoying Christianese when conversing. Should be interested in hiking and biking as well as pedicures and spa getaways. Doesn't mind making an ass out of herself when attempting to surf. Potential friends please apply. No credit check but a full psyche eval would be good. (Membership in recovery program would suffice for psyche eval)

I need to get out more.

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