Envisage 365

I recently started a new project. I mentioned it earlier... that I would be taking a picture a day for 365 days. In order to never miss a shot, I've been carrying my camera everywhere. Considering all the other stuff I have to lug around in my bag with two little ones in tow, it was a bit of an adjustment.

A couple of days ago, I was incredibly thankful that I had my camera with me.

I almost caused an accident making a u-turn. I ducked in to multiple driveways to get a snapshot without being caught, but they were so fast! She was chatting about whatever girls chat about. He was smiling and happy to have his girlfriend with him. They looked like totally in love and I just wanted to capture that. But they were too fast for me. I finally just drove up alongside them and told them I needed to take a picture of something beautiful. I wasn't sure how they would react. I was afraid they might tell me to go bug off. But they didn't.

They just smiled...



I was having a teary day anyway. I was feeling sad about my daughter. I really needed to see something like this... to remind me about unconditional love... to see kindness, love, beauty... The babies were in the back seat. "Mommy, why are you crying?" I couldn't answer. I just wanted to let my mind feel the love I had just experienced.

..

The Voice Inside My Head

I can so relate to this chick...

Happy Birthday, Bug

Seventeen years ago, I was at a little hospital in Laguna Beach with wires and tape and IV drips all around me. I was only twenty-one and just a little scared. The doctor promised me you would be out before his golf game. The delivery proved to be a little more difficult than that.

For the last few years, things have been kinda tough for us. I know I was at fault for a big chunk of how it all started. I was unprepared to be a mom at such a young age. I thought I could handle it all... one day at a time... but you and I know it was a lot more difficult than that.

I was reminded of your sweet Little Girl self so many times earlier this year when we sold the house, packed, and then moved. I walked through every room of that house and pictured all the fun we used to have as a family. I wept for the brokenness of the state of our family and wished for better days. It hurt to know that you never came back to that home... that we couldn't quite make that happen... but then, I thought, maybe in a new environment, maybe some place else, you and I could have a fresh start.

That, too, has proven more difficult than anticipated...

My heart jumped when you wrote to me on my birthday. Your words were so sweet. Thank you. It's been nice communicating with you, at least in some form, however limited. But what I would love more than anything... what I ache for... what I want to do today is to just hug you. To tell you to your face how much I love you and miss you and wish that we had some kind of life together. I wonder how much longer it will be before you and I lay eyes on each other again.

No matter what, please know that I love you and that I wish the best for you every day and send out a prayer for your safety every night.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Happy Birthday, Lori Bug.

...

Sixth Grade Promotion, June 2004


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Calling Nashville!

Okay, so I was thinking it would be cool to go to one of the Reach Out BlogHer days since the list of cities is so cool. My number one pick is Nashville. Woo Hooo! Lindsay from Suburban Turmoil is always going on about how much fun the place is. I also have another friend who visits family there often... and she doesn't even like her family. Plus, you've got the Grand Ol' Opry. Just a short drive to Graceland in Memphis. I mean, everything I've ever heard about it is that it's a fun time. So here's the deal... if you live near or in Nashville and wanted to attend the BlogHer Reach Out tour but all your non-geek friends won't go with you, never fear! Sugar will go! I would get a discount, which would help offset my shopping, the shopping that you, Nashville Native, will have to endure with me. Haha!

Any takers?? I promise not to behave... I'll even bring you a (used) toy Shamu whale from San Diego... pleeeeez!!!

This Is Only a Test!

I know the lighting makes me look washed out... haven't quite figured that out on my handy dandy webcam that I got from Microsoft at breakfast on Day Two of BlogHer in San Francisco. And please ignore the mess in the back... really didn't have time to set up a backdrop. I was just feeling the moment.

Hope you like...