Thursday, August 14, 2008


I was saddened this week at the loss of a woman I never knew. I mean, I never knew her personally. I have, however, come to know her through those that loved her.

My friend's sister had a lovely friend named Bridget. Bridget had a wonderful husband named Steve. She also had a sweet little girl named Grace and a newborn named Chloe. Bridget loved to dance and be with family.

Bridget had cancer.

Early on in Bridgets pregnancy with Chloe, she was given the news. During that time, she spoke of a calmness that washed over her knowing that everything, somehow, would be all right... even if her earthly body died. She believed that God was standing right beside her and in that strength, she lived each day. After many weeks of pregnancy with chemo, an emergency C-Section was performed and Baby Chloe was saved. Unfortunately, the prognosis never got any better for Bridget, and after much prayer and discussion and tearful last goodbyes, Bridget passed on. The email I received yesterday left me a little sad, but also feeling amazingly blessed for having been a witness to the strength and grace of a woman I never knew.

Her husband wanted me to know her. He wanted everyone to know her. Everyone who was ever touched by her. Everyone who will miss her. Everyone who ever breathed a prayer for her. So he pulled out an email from six years ago and invited us into a moment between a man and a woman so that we might know what a special person Bridget was. It's a long list, but don't worry... you have time to read it...

LOVE 101

1. I love when you smile

2. I love your Yahtzee celebration

3. I love how supportive you are of others

4. I love that you can dance

5. I love that you don't like Strawberry Hag -- more for me! :)

6. I love that your value our relationship

7. I love it when you rub my back in church

8. I love it when you laugh at my jokes

9. I love how supportive you are of your mom

10. I love that you love your family so much

11. I love that embarrassing things don't embarrass me when it is a result of you (see V-day cookie)

12. I love that you have entrusted me with your heart

13. I love your ankles

14. I love how we are able to work through our problems and come out stronger at the end

15. I love how your personality balances mine

16. I love how you support your friends

17. I love that you accept me and my many flaws

18. I love that I can give my life to you and know it was a good investment :)

19. I love your nose

20. I love that you pull me out of my shell so many times

21. I love the fact that looking into your eyes and smile can calm the storms inside me

22. I love your heart

23. I love smelling your hair after a shower

24. I love driving the Rav-4 with you as my co-pilot

25. I love that I can trust you to do the right thing

26. I love that you are a committed Christian

27. I love that we made a shift from 4:30 to 11:00 service for eachother's growth

28. I love that you are working on telling me concerns or things that bother you quickly

29. I love rubbing your back

30. I love rubbing the tops of your feet

31. I love your generosity

32. I love your kindness

33. I love that you have stopped breaking hard for me

34. I love that you were not late on Sunday or this morning

35. I love the glow you get when you talk about our relationship

36. I love hour head smashed in my chest when we hug real tight

37. I love your bumper

38. I loved it when you taught me how to ice-skate

39. I love how you compliment my strengths/weaknesses

40. I love how we have great talks about different things

41. I love that you know my WSU jersey number

42. I love that you don't hate me for buying a Nextel phone

43. I love how truly supportive you are of me

44. I love how we both rave about Gordon Huegenberger

45. I love that we both love Park Street Church

46. I love that we met at Park Street Church

47. I love kissing your neck

48. I love spending entire weekends with you away (see Wash. DC)

49. I love watching people get drawn to you

50. I love how others admire you so much

51. I love snowboarding with you

52. I love snuggling on the couch with you

53. I love taking walks in the rain with you

54. I love sitting on benches in the park with you

55. I love going to sleep on the couch next to you

56. I love waking up next to you

57. I love being your disc jokey

58. I love when we go on trips together (NYC, DC, Oregon...Australia?)

59. I love when you open up to me

60. I love opening up with you

61. I love looking at the picture of you on my cube wall

62. I love dreaming up pictures we can put up on our condo's new walls

63. I love going to BC football games with you

64. I love going to Sister Sorel with you

65. I love hearing your "smokers" voice

66. I love calling your office

67. I love walking by Bakey's on my way to Fanieul Hall and reminiscing

68. I love picking up your tab

69. I love making you happy

70. I love it that you make me so happy

71. I love it when you clean my earlobes

72. I love it when we sit close together on the T

73. I love it when we went on runs together...we should get back into this

74. I love talking to you after your dance class, you're so full of energy

75. I love playing tricks on you

76. I love giving you zrbrts

77. I love rubbing your stomach and back super softly

78. I love seeing you wake up

79. I love scaring you when you go to pick something from my face

80. I love that I have written 79 of these without hesitation

81. I love that I can call you my fiancee

82. I love that we have wonderful mutual friends

83. I love that you are my life's number one priority

84. I love that you are forgiving

85. I love that you are understanding

86. I love it when you look at me with your sheepish grin

87. I love it when you hold my hand

88. I love it when we hug that special way on the escalators

89. I love falling in love with you again and again when I dream of you

90. I love that you are accepting of my love affair with REM

91. I love that you love family as much as me

92. I love that we look to hang out with one another before anyone else

93. I love that you are 5'6''

94. I love that you looked into buying me some new chinos

95. I love in a few months we will look back at Thursday as just a blip in the radar screen

96. I love that you stuck by me through my weird time in early January

97. I love that you didn't run away when you were scared I was cheating on you with Lisa

98. I love the dream that I will be this old (98) and still call you my sweetheart

99. I love that you strengthen my character

100.I love that you will be this old (100) when I am still calling you my sweetheart

101.I love that God brought you into my life.

Just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more that cannot be explained in words.

Your forever,



Erica said...

Oh, honey. I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing this wonderful list of loves.

smiles4u said...

I am sorry for this loss. Beautiful things to be said about someone...the list said so much about this couple. Very sad story but yet very beautiful.

Mocha said...

Heart-breakingly beautiful. I hope someone knows that much about me someday to write it down and share it. Even if it is just with close friends. SOMEone will know I made a difference and paid attention.

Sorry for your loss, removed though it was.

D'Arcy said...

lately this summer it seems that someone, somewhere is reminding me about the daily beauty and fragility of life and that I shouldn't take it for granted.

it's true.

MonkeyGirl said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It makes me appreciate what I have and reminds to take nothing for granted. thanks for sharing!

NannyOgg said...

Sending lots of love to Bridget and thank you for sharing this with us!


Lu said...

I saw this and thought it was so powerful.

Ruahines said...

Kia ora Sugar,
Very cool. I am going to give Tara a cuddle right now. Cheers for sharing.

Naomi said...

So beautiful and sad. Every now and again I send letters out to people to let them know how much I appreciate them. Sometimes short little ones, other times lists surprisingly similar to this one.
Ever check out postsecret? I'm sure more than half of those people wouldn't send in such sad cards if just one person took a moment to tell them they mattered.

Sorry for your loss.

KingdomWriter said...

Wow, how powerful and moving, it made me cry in that 'oh-my-God-I'm-so touched-and-moved-there-is-so-much-love-out-there' kind of way. I love how Steve says 'I love that I have written 79 of these without hesitating'. That is a great relationship, huh. I think all who read your post will feel a bit sad along with you, Sugar.

LBB said...

Hi there--thank you so much for posting that! I was thinking of doing it myself but couldn't find the words. Yours were so eloquent and beautiful! I will be sure to forward your link to Steve--it might be helpful for him to see how many, many lives both he and his wife touched without knowing it.

San Diego Momma said...

Oh gosh.
After awhile, I had to avert my eyes. That was too moving.

Good reminder to tell the people we love why we love them.

Steve and Jenn Fletcher said...

I cried and I didn't even know her. (I don't even know you, for that matter.)

But thanks for the reminder that the most important thing in this life is to learn to love.

Ann said...

71. I love it when you clean my earlobes

This whole list is so beautiful, but I love this one. So simple and intimate and loving.

I'm sorry for this loss. How heartbreaking.

Callie said...

Your post was very touching in that it reminded me just how precious life is. The real glory in life is knowing that you have touched people. And there is no doubt that Bridget did just that. She is an inspiration and a reminder to not sweat the small stuff. For you, her friends, and her family, I shall say a prayer. Blessings.