Positive

Positive.

That word always meant Good. All of the sudden, it meant Not Good. Apparently, the nurse on the other end had explained this enough times to silly young teens in the past. She reiterated the test results and what that meant.

I felt like the world was going to end.

I was suddenly afraid to death of telling my mom because, for sure, she was going to beat the shit out of me when I told her. That's what was going through my mind as I put the receiver down at the phone booth across from the counseling center. My friend Holly was standing next to me with her usual goofy hopeful smile. She saw my face and knew the answer. I don't remember anything but her hugs and reassurance. The warning bell rang and she was off to her next class. I wished I could just go to class with her. Instead, I turned and walked straight into the counseling center and into Mr. Aleman's office. He was used to me just plopping myself in the seat in front of his desk. He was my surrogate father and he knew it. I looked around his office at all the familiar items. The poster of kids climbing a jungle gym with something about wouldn't it be great if the military had to have bake sales to raise funds for weapons. I looked over at the tiny hoop and net attached to his trash can that some kid made for him in metal shop. I looked at anything I could before I finally looked at him. I couldn't stop crying. Before I could tell him, he knew. He had years of dealing with fatherless teen girls. His shoulders slumped as he half stated, half asked, "You're pregnant?" I lost it.

I was seventeen. I was smart. I was nice. I was kinda popular. And I was pregnant.

I keep hearing snarky comments about Bristol Palin. I read all over the internet all the ugliness about her situation. I keep wondering if Bristol is as afraid of her new responsibilities as I was. And then I wonder how much scarier and possibly more humiliating life must be for her than it was for me. It took all my strength to show up day after day to complete the final semester of school before graduation. But I did it. I can only imagine how difficult it is for Bristol to hold her head up knowing that the snickers aren't just coming from classmates and neighbors but from judgmental men and women all over the state and the rest of the US.

"What did your mom say?"

That was the first question I got from all of my friends. The tone in their voices was compassionate... not at all judgmental. I think they were probably putting themselves in my shoes in thinking about how their parents might have reacted. They knew that my mom was strict and a bit *ahem* grumpy, so they weren't really surprised when I told them about the ride in the car when she yelled and yelled at me about how I had ruined my life. In retelling our "conversations" to my friends, I kept out her screams of how I had embarrassed her and how was she going to explain this to my dad and how she had failed... She was so angry and humiliated. That made the whole situation worse. Not only was I going to have to bear the responsibility of becoming a mother, and not only was I going to have to live with the shame on a daily basis as the "evidence" of my dalliance grew and grew... I was now also fully responsible for my mother's feelings of failure.

I hated myself.

I wonder, again... how must that poor seventeen-year-old, Bristol feel? Does she feel like she's humiliating her mom? Will marrying the boyfriend make it all better? As much as I enjoy good political back and forth, I wish all the "journalists" out there would just let Bristol fade into the background. She has enough to deal with. Like that too young boyfriend-slash-husband of hers. And maybe the judgers and haters should do what my friends did for me... put themselves in Bristol's shoes... and just let this little side story go away.

And maybe focus on the issues.

...

This is not really a political post. It's a former-teen-mom-sticking-up-for-another-teen-mom post. Any "haters" will be taken out back and beaten with a switch by my mom. Don't laugh, Dude... she's scary with a stick!

AND, let me just say this in no way is a statement that the beautiful daughter that came of the teen pregnancy is anything less than an awesome kid who I love love love very much. Nothing negative there...

Reunion Recap

These were NOT taken by my real camera. I didn't want to be behind the lens avoiding any interaction with my former classmates. Instead, I brought along my all-in-one pocket media gadget: my Palm Centro. We did not have optimal lighting conditions, but the smiles in these images shine pretty bright, regardless.

This is Paula, my high school BFF. She married some guy that I used to have a little crush on...


She still lets me sit on Todd's lap. He still likes it.


This is Christine, the most genuine girl you will ever know and the most fun you will ever have... and I don't mean that in a written-on-a-bathroom-stall kinda way.


Shaun... this guy was WAY too smart for his own good. Our high school counselor asked him if he thought that high school just wasn't for him. I reminded him that it wasn't. Because of his genius at finding loopholes, three rules were permanently changed in the student handbook. He took the GED and joined the Coast Guard. Now he's on his way to med school after a successful stint as a financial analyst. Guess our counselor was right. Genius isn't always in the form of a mold...



Randy (below) was my first crush. He had totally forgotten that fact. I had to remind him that I used to walk up behind him to snake the Fat Comb out of his back pocket so that he would chase me through the quad. He married one of my other classmates. They are so funny together... by the end of the night, she and I were drunk, laying on another guy's bed comparing nail length. Just like school...


Mr. Cool here is Craig. I never had a crush on him or anything. I just always loved his sleepy smile and killer dimples. He was one of those cool and quiet guys. Except for the beer gut, he's exactly the same.


I accidentally insulted Eric (below) by saying that he was the same but old. What I meant was, he had NOT changed... AT ALL! He looks just like he did in junior high. His wife is so so so sweet. I told her that I always knew he would marry someone just like her. He's a fireman now. Of course he is...


I once got arrested for shoplifting. I had totally forgotten about that episode until I ran into this Boozer. Brandy was always good for a party, especially when we were away on school sponsored trips. She admits that she still loves a good time. Brandy: Don't you go changin'...


My outfit was perfect... no matter how much I stressed over going without a bra... First time EVER doing that! Apparently, losing weight and regularly doing push ups works.


And can you believe that I didn't get Biggest 80s Hair???


At the end of the party, we moved to the bar, played some pool, ate some popcorn, and shut the place down. Then we headed up to Mike A's room, #617. Todd made sure we'd remember that number. He repeated it incessantly on the microphone all night. Supposedly, the guests across the way called security, but I still think it was Mike... he had the biggest S* eating grin on his face as we all left, beer and shoes in hand. My head hit a pillow sometime around 3:30 with a piece of cold pizza on my chest.

Aaaahhh... just like the good old days...

...