An Invitation

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble without any particular book in mind. There might be some thoughts floating around my head that I just can't seem to put into words, only ideas. About eight years ago, I was walking the aisles in one of those searching modes when I came upon a small book called The Invitation, written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. On the cover were these profound words:

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interset me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive...

I was at a confusing point in my life. I could continue down the path I was on... the path that would make my parents happy. The path that would ensure a secure financial future. The path that would bring stability. Except that in my heart, I didn't want to be on that path. Every cell in my body was pointing me away from that life.

It hasn't been easy. I've gone back and forth from fear to excitement. Right now, at this very moment, I'm feeling kind of scared. I feel like I can't possibly make it work. I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling like that right now. I know it's just a moment of hesitation that I'll get past. Still, those moments of doubt can really paralyze me. For instance, I'm supposed to go to a lunch meeting in an hour... I'm supposed to be all bubbly and perky when I get there. But my stomach is tossing and I think if I eat, I'll make a big mess in front of the group. I know that I'm trying to talk myself out of going, but why?

I hate this.

The Invitation did talk about risking looking like a fool for your dream. So, here goes. I sure hope I don't puke.

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