I Am Such A Bitch

There are reasons that I become a Bitch in one hot second. I have some fundamental flaws that I have developed... so sue me. I'm human. And most of the time I forgive myself for my moments. Those moments when I allow all of that to explode into my day.

Like today, for example.

My cell phone, or rather, Life Line was turned off. Completely shut down. Non-communicable. My husband's was not. (aaarrgghhh) My attempts at reaching him were unsuccessful as he is travelling (grumble-grumble, aaarrrgghh, grumble). So I left a not-so-nice message about how he was not acting very cooperative in our Collaborative Divorce, damn it! I called the cell company to chew someone's ear off and find out what I needed to do to get my phone back up and running since my (aaarrghhh) A-Hole husband was being a jerk and had not notified me of this action. That's when I found out that someone had reported my phone lost. "It's not lost! I'm on it right now? Who would have said it was lost?"

Uh-oh... Shoot!

Yesterday at church, someone gave me my old phone that had died. I had reactivated a new phone and let the kids play with the one that crashed. They took it to church and left it there last week. Somehow, someone was able to "resurrect" it. They saw that it was my phone, and thinking they would do me a favor, called the cell company to report it found. Well... the cell company doesn't have a system for Found, only Lost (so pessimistic). So today, my replacement phone got zapped as the "Lost" phone.

Wooopsy...

The whole time I was getting it all straightened out I kept thinking about the message I had left my poor husband. (Please note how he went from A-Hole to sympathetic innocent within seconds). Now I have a nasty message out in the ether AND a guilty conscience. YAY! Just about that moment, my office phone rings. I know who it is by the voice of my inner accuser (You are such a bitch!) ringing in my ears. "Helllloooo...." I sheepishly explained myself and luckily we had a good chuckle about it. He understood the confusion and I was able to say sorry without feeling like I was giving anything up.

I think I'll be okay. Minus the occassional zero-to-sixty-bitchiness-explosion. But hey, I own it.

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